Born to Win
by Muriel James and Dorothy Jongeward
You cannot teach a man anything. You can only help him discover it within himself.
"WINNERS AND LOSERS"
Each human being is born as something new, something that never existed before. He is born with what he needs to win at life. Each person in his own way can see, hear, touch, taste, and think for himself. Each has his unique potentials -- his capabilities and limitations. Each can be a significant, thinking, aware, and creatively productive person in his own right -- a winner.
每個人從出生的那一刻起，就作為一個嶄新的、從未存在過的面目出現。他生而具備了所有使他能在生活中取得勝利的一切。每個人都能夠以他自有的獨特方式去觀察，傾聽，觸摸，品嘗和思考。每個人都擁有其獨一無二的潛質 -- 他的才能和他的局限。每個人都可行使其自己的權利，成為一個功勳卓著、善於思考、充滿覺悟和創新性的生產能力的人 -- 一位勝利者。
The words "winner" and "loser" have many meanings. When we refer to a person as a winner, we do not mean one who beats the other guy by winning over him and making him lose. To us, a winner is one who responds authentically by being credible, trustworthy, responsive, and genuine, both as an individual and as a member of a society. A loser is one who fails to correspond authentically. Mastin Buber expresses this idea as he retells an old story of a rabbi who on his death bed sees himself as a loser. The rabbi laments that, in the world to come, he will not be asked why he wasn‘t Moses, he will be asked why he wasn‘t himself.
“勝利者”和“失敗者”這兩個詞擁有很多含義。當我們稱一個人為勝利者時，並不是指那類藉助勝過對方並致使對方失敗而打倒他人的人。對我們而言，勝利者是那種無論作為個人還是社會成員，都能以一種可信任的，值得信賴的，負責任和真誠的態度為人處世的人。失敗者則指那些未能做到誠實可靠的人。Mastin Buber 在他轉述一則老故事時表達了這一觀點。那是一個關於一位拉比（譯者注: 希伯來文，含導師和精神領袖之意）在臨死前將自己視為失敗者的故事，故事中的拉比哀嘆說：在即將到來的世界裡，他將不會被詢問他為何沒有成為摩西（譯者注: 舊約聖經中希伯來人的先知，曾引領以色列人走出埃及，史稱‘出埃及事’），而會被質問他為何沒有成為他自己。
Few people are one hundred percent winners or one hundred percent losers, It‘s a matter of degree. However, once a person is on the road to being a winner, his chances are greater for becoming even more so. This book is intended to facilitate the journey.
Winners have different potentials , Achievement is not the most important thing. Authenticity is. the authentic person experiences the reality of himself by knowing himself, being himself, and becoming a credible, responsive person. He actualizes his own unprecedented uiqueness and appreciates the uniqueness of others. (The common pronoun "he" refers to person of either sex except when "she" is definately applicable.)
A winner is not afraid to do his own thinking and to use his own knowledge. He can separate facts from opinion and doesn‘t pretend to have all the answers. He listens to others, evaluates what they say, but comes to his own conclusions. While he can admire and respect other people, he is not totally defined, bound, or awed by them.
A winner can be spontaneous. He does not have to respond in predetermined, rigid ways. He can change his plans when the situation calls for it. A winner has a zest for life. He enjoys work, play, food, other people, and the world of nature. Without guilt he enjoys his own accomplishments. Without envy he enjoys the accomplishments of others.
Although a winner can freely enjoy himself, he can also postpone enjoyment. He can discipline himself in the present to enhance his enjoyment in the future. He is not afraid to go after what he wants but does so in appropriate ways. He does not get his security by controlling other.
A winner cares about the world and its peoples. He is not isolated from the general problems of society. He is concerned, compassionate and committed to improving the quality of life. Even in the face of national and international adversity, he does not see himself as totally powerless. He does what he can to make the world a better place.
Although people are born to win, they are also born helpless and totally dependent on their environment. Winners successfully make the transition from total helplessness to independence, and then to interdependence. Losers do not. Somewhere along the line they begin to avoid becoming self-responsible.
As we have noted, few people are total winners or losers. Most of them are winners in some areas of their lives and losers in others. Their winning or losing is influenced by what happens to them in childhood.
A lack of response to dependency needs, poor nutrition, brutality, unhappy relationships, disease, continuing disappointments, inadequate physical care, and traumatic events are among the many experiences that contribute to making people losers. Such experiences interrupt, deter, or prevent the normal progess toward autonomy and self-actualization. To cope with negative experiences a child learns to manipulate himself and others. These manipulative techniques are hard to give up later in life and often become set patterns. A winner works to shed them. A loser hangs on to them.
A loser represses his capacity to express spontaneously and appropriately his full range of possible behavior. He may be unaware of other options for his life if the path he chooses goes nowhere. He is afraid to try new things. He maintains his own status quo. He is a repeater. He repeats not only his own mistakes, he often repeats those of his family and culture.
A loser has difficulty giving and receiving affection. He does not enter into intimate, honest direct relationships with others. Instead, he tries to manipulate them into living up to his expectations and channels his energies into living up to their expectations.
When a person wants to discover and change his "losing streak," when he wants to become more like the winner he was born to be, he can use gestalt-type experiments and transactional analysis to make change happen. These are two new exciting, psychological approaches to human problems. The first was given new life by Dr. Frederick Perls; the second was developed by Dr. Eric Berne.
當一個人希望發現並改變自己的“失敗傾向”時，當他希望變得更像他生來就可成就的勝利者時，他可以使用格式塔實驗（譯者注: 格式塔為德語中‘形成’之意，這裡指形成一個有組織的整體的體驗。格式塔派心理學家於 1912 年提出了心理現象理應是完整而不可分割之整體的理論）和相互作用分析來促使改變的發生。這是兩種全新的，激動人心的解決人類問題的心理學手法，前者由 Frederick Perls 博士創立，後者由 Eric Berne 博士提出。
Perls was born in Germany in 1893 and left the country when Hitler came into power. Berne was born in Montreal in 1910. Both men were trained as Freudian psychoanalysts; both broke away from the use of orthodox psychoanalysis; both found their greatest popularity and acceptance in the United States.
Perls 於 1893 年生於德國，在希特勒執政後離開祖國，Berne 於 1910 年生於蒙特婁。兩人都曾被訓練為弗洛伊德精神分析師，卻雙雙與正統的精神分析方法分道揚鑣，兩個人都在美國得到了廣泛的聲譽和認可。
Gestalt therapy is not new. However, its current popularity has grown very rapidly since it was given new impetus and direction by Dr. Frederick Perls. Gestalt is a german word for which there is no exact English equivalent; it means, roughly, the forming of an organized, meaningful whole.
格式塔療法並不是新事物。然而，其受歡迎程度卻隨著 Frederick Perls 博士的推動取得了快速的發展。格式塔是德語中的辭彙，在英語中沒有精確的對應詞，它的意思大體上是：一個有組織的，有意義的整體的形成。
Perls perceives many personalities as lacking wholeness, as being fragmented. He claims people are often aware of only parts of themselves rather than of the whole self. For example, a woman may not know or want to admit that sometimes she acts like her mother; a man may not know or admit that sometimes he wants to cry like a baby.
The aim of getalt therapy is to help one to become whole -- to help the person become aware of, admit to, reclaim, and integrate his fragmented parts. Integration helps a person make the transition from dependency to self-sufficiency; from authoritarian outer support to authentic inner support.
格式塔心理學的目標是幫助一個人走向完整 -- 幫助人們了解，接受，找回並重整其殘破的部分。重新整合幫助一個人從依賴轉向自給自足，從專斷的外部支持轉向真誠的內部支持。