“勝利者”與“失敗者”(譯文)

2019-02-19 15:29:42

Born to Win
生而為贏

by Muriel James and Dorothy Jongeward

You cannot teach a man anything. You can only help him discover it within himself.
--Galileo

你無法教會一個人任何事,你只能幫助他自己去發現。
--伽利略

"WINNERS AND LOSERS"
“勝利者與失敗者”

Each human being is born as something new, something that never existed before. He is born with what he needs to win at life. Each person in his own way can see, hear, touch, taste, and think for himself. Each has his unique potentials -- his capabilities and limitations. Each can be a significant, thinking, aware, and creatively productive person in his own right -- a winner.

每個人從出生的那一刻起,就作為一個嶄新的、從未存在過的面目出現。他生而具備了所有使他能在生活中取得勝利的一切。每個人都能夠以他自有的獨特方式去觀察,傾聽,觸摸,品嘗和思考。每個人都擁有其獨一無二的潛質 -- 他的才能和他的局限。每個人都可行使其自己的權利,成為一個功勳卓著、善於思考、充滿覺悟和創新性的生產能力的人 -- 一位勝利者。

The words "winner" and "loser" have many meanings. When we refer to a person as a winner, we do not mean one who beats the other guy by winning over him and making him lose. To us, a winner is one who responds authentically by being credible, trustworthy, responsive, and genuine, both as an individual and as a member of a society. A loser is one who fails to correspond authentically. Mastin Buber expresses this idea as he retells an old story of a rabbi who on his death bed sees himself as a loser. The rabbi laments that, in the world to come, he will not be asked why he wasn‘t Moses, he will be asked why he wasn‘t himself.

“勝利者”和“失敗者”這兩個詞擁有很多含義。當我們稱一個人為勝利者時,並不是指那類藉助勝過對方並致使對方失敗而打倒他人的人。對我們而言,勝利者是那種無論作為個人還是社會成員,都能以一種可信任的,值得信賴的,負責任和真誠的態度為人處世的人。失敗者則指那些未能做到誠實可靠的人。Mastin Buber 在他轉述一則老故事時表達了這一觀點。那是一個關於一位拉比(譯者注: 希伯來文,含導師和精神領袖之意)在臨死前將自己視為失敗者的故事,故事中的拉比哀嘆說:在即將到來的世界裡,他將不會被詢問他為何沒有成為摩西(譯者注: 舊約聖經中希伯來人的先知,曾引領以色列人走出埃及,史稱‘出埃及事’),而會被質問他為何沒有成為他自己。

Few people are one hundred percent winners or one hundred percent losers, It‘s a matter of degree. However, once a person is on the road to being a winner, his chances are greater for becoming even more so. This book is intended to facilitate the journey.

百分之百的勝利者和百分之百的失敗者都是罕見的,問題在於程度的不同。儘管如此,一旦一個人踏上了勝利者的道路,他成為勝利者的機會將變得更大,這部專著的目的就在於方便這段勝利者的旅途。

"WINNERS"

“勝利者”

Winners have different potentials , Achievement is not the most important thing. Authenticity is. the authentic person experiences the reality of himself by knowing himself, being himself, and becoming a credible, responsive person. He actualizes his own unprecedented uiqueness and appreciates the uniqueness of others. (The common pronoun "he" refers to person of either sex except when "she" is definately applicable.)

勝利者們擁有不同的潛質,成就並非最重要的東西,真正重要的是真誠。真誠的人通過了解自己,做回自己並成為一個誠實可靠且負有責任心的人而體驗到真實的自我。他不僅實現自身的史無前例的獨特品質,還去欣賞其他人的獨特品質(這裡的‘他’指代任何性別的人,除非是在明確需要使用‘她’的場合)。

A winner is not afraid to do his own thinking and to use his own knowledge. He can separate facts from opinion and doesn‘t pretend to have all the answers. He listens to others, evaluates what they say, but comes to his own conclusions. While he can admire and respect other people, he is not totally defined, bound, or awed by them.

勝利者不會為做出自己的思考和運用自己的知識而感到不安。他能夠區分事實和觀點,而且並不裝作了解所有答案。他會傾聽別人,評價他們所說的話,但最終卻會得出自己的結論。他能夠讚賞和尊敬其他人,但又不會對那些人敬畏到固步自封。

A winner can be spontaneous. He does not have to respond in predetermined, rigid ways. He can change his plans when the situation calls for it. A winner has a zest for life. He enjoys work, play, food, other people, and the world of nature. Without guilt he enjoys his own accomplishments. Without envy he enjoys the accomplishments of others.

勝利者可能是自發的,他們用不著以一種預先規定的刻板的方式行動,能在形勢需要時改變自己的計畫。勝利者對生活別有興味,他能夠享受工作,娛樂,美食,他人和整個自然界。他能問心無愧地欣賞自己的成就,也能不帶妒忌地欣賞他人的成就。

Although a winner can freely enjoy himself, he can also postpone enjoyment. He can discipline himself in the present to enhance his enjoyment in the future. He is not afraid to go after what he wants but does so in appropriate ways. He does not get his security by controlling other.

儘管勝利者能夠自由地享受自我,他也能推遲享樂。為了加強未來的快樂,他可以在當前約束自己。他並不害怕追求他想要的東西,但會以合適的方式去追求。此外,他不會通過控制別人來獲取自己的安全感。

A winner cares about the world and its peoples. He is not isolated from the general problems of society. He is concerned, compassionate and committed to improving the quality of life. Even in the face of national and international adversity, he does not see himself as totally powerless. He does what he can to make the world a better place.

勝利者關注整個世界和世界上的所有人,他不會與普遍性的社會問題相隔絕。他關注社會,充滿同情心並且致力於改善生活的質量。即使面對民族乃至國際的災禍,也不會視自己為無能為力的人,而是會儘自己所能讓世界變得更美好。

"LOSERS"

“失敗者”

Although people are born to win, they are also born helpless and totally dependent on their environment. Winners successfully make the transition from total helplessness to independence, and then to interdependence. Losers do not. Somewhere along the line they begin to avoid becoming self-responsible.

儘管人們生來就可以取得勝利,他們在初生之時依然是無助的,完全依賴著其周邊的環境。勝利者能夠成功地從完全的無助和依賴逐漸走向獨立,並進一步走向互惠的依賴,失敗者卻不然,他們會在從事一件事的中途某處開始逃避自我,不肯變為對自己負責的人。

As we have noted, few people are total winners or losers. Most of them are winners in some areas of their lives and losers in others. Their winning or losing is influenced by what happens to them in childhood.

正如我們已經提到過的,很少有人是完全的勝利者或失敗者,他們中大多數是自己生活中部分領域的勝利者和其它領域的失敗者,他們的成敗受童年時代發生在他們身上的事情所影響。

A lack of response to dependency needs, poor nutrition, brutality, unhappy relationships, disease, continuing disappointments, inadequate physical care, and traumatic events are among the many experiences that contribute to making people losers. Such experiences interrupt, deter, or prevent the normal progess toward autonomy and self-actualization. To cope with negative experiences a child learns to manipulate himself and others. These manipulative techniques are hard to give up later in life and often become set patterns. A winner works to shed them. A loser hangs on to them.

渴望依靠的需要沒有得到足夠的回應,營養的缺乏,粗暴的行為,不愉快的關係,疾病,持續的情緒低落,不充足的身體關愛和創傷性的事件是使人成為失敗者的諸多體驗中的一部分。這樣的體驗或打斷,或威懾,或阻撓了人們走向自治和自我實現的過程。為了應對這些負面的體驗,兒童學會了操縱自己和他人,這種操縱技巧在日後的生活中很難被戒除,通常會成為既定的行為模式。勝利者會努力卸下它們,失敗者卻會抓住它們不放。

A loser represses his capacity to express spontaneously and appropriately his full range of possible behavior. He may be unaware of other options for his life if the path he chooses goes nowhere. He is afraid to try new things. He maintains his own status quo. He is a repeater. He repeats not only his own mistakes, he often repeats those of his family and culture.

失敗者抑制自己的能力,不讓它們自發而適當地表達出自己全部可能的行為。若他選擇的生活路徑走不通,他很可能意識不到其它可行的選項。他會選擇安於現狀,做一位重複者,不僅重複他自身的錯誤,還經常會重複屬於他的家庭和文化圈子的錯誤。

A loser has difficulty giving and receiving affection. He does not enter into intimate, honest direct relationships with others. Instead, he tries to manipulate them into living up to his expectations and channels his energies into living up to their expectations.

失敗者難以給予和接受感情,他不肯與別人形成親密而真誠的直接關係,相反他會嘗試操縱他們,讓他們變得符合自己的期望,同時將自己的精力投注在努力符合他們的期望的過程中。

When a person wants to discover and change his "losing streak," when he wants to become more like the winner he was born to be, he can use gestalt-type experiments and transactional analysis to make change happen. These are two new exciting, psychological approaches to human problems. The first was given new life by Dr. Frederick Perls; the second was developed by Dr. Eric Berne.

當一個人希望發現並改變自己的“失敗傾向”時,當他希望變得更像他生來就可成就的勝利者時,他可以使用格式塔實驗(譯者注: 格式塔為德語中‘形成’之意,這裡指形成一個有組織的整體的體驗。格式塔派心理學家於 1912 年提出了心理現象理應是完整而不可分割之整體的理論)和相互作用分析來促使改變的發生。這是兩種全新的,激動人心的解決人類問題的心理學手法,前者由 Frederick Perls 博士創立,後者由 Eric Berne 博士提出。

Perls was born in Germany in 1893 and left the country when Hitler came into power. Berne was born in Montreal in 1910. Both men were trained as Freudian psychoanalysts; both broke away from the use of orthodox psychoanalysis; both found their greatest popularity and acceptance in the United States.

Perls 於 1893 年生於德國,在希特勒執政後離開祖國,Berne 於 1910 年生於蒙特婁。兩人都曾被訓練為弗洛伊德精神分析師,卻雙雙與正統的精神分析方法分道揚鑣,兩個人都在美國得到了廣泛的聲譽和認可。

Gestalt therapy is not new. However, its current popularity has grown very rapidly since it was given new impetus and direction by Dr. Frederick Perls. Gestalt is a german word for which there is no exact English equivalent; it means, roughly, the forming of an organized, meaningful whole.

格式塔療法並不是新事物。然而,其受歡迎程度卻隨著 Frederick Perls 博士的推動取得了快速的發展。格式塔是德語中的辭彙,在英語中沒有精確的對應詞,它的意思大體上是:一個有組織的,有意義的整體的形成。

Perls perceives many personalities as lacking wholeness, as being fragmented. He claims people are often aware of only parts of themselves rather than of the whole self. For example, a woman may not know or want to admit that sometimes she acts like her mother; a man may not know or admit that sometimes he wants to cry like a baby.

Perls 將許多人格特徵視為缺乏整體性或殘破不全的,他聲稱人們通常僅意識到自身的一部分而非全部。舉例而言,一位婦女可能不知道或不願承認她的行事方式有時和自己的母親很相像;一個成年男子或許不了解或不承認他有時希望像嬰兒一樣哭喊。

The aim of getalt therapy is to help one to become whole -- to help the person become aware of, admit to, reclaim, and integrate his fragmented parts. Integration helps a person make the transition from dependency to self-sufficiency; from authoritarian outer support to authentic inner support.

格式塔心理學的目標是幫助一個人走向完整 -- 幫助人們了解,接受,找回並重整其殘破的部分。重新整合幫助一個人從依賴轉向自給自足,從專斷的外部支持轉向真誠的內部支持。

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